fraught with meaning

Robert Seigel:

Neti, Neti

Are you the ragged yellow fields?
      No, the grass, broken and happy.
Are you the air, damp and intimate?
      No, the deer’s flag, her hoof muffled in the swamp.
Are you the sun patiently peeling the clouds?
      No, the star in the dawn’s throat.
Are you the stones bearing me up on their safari?
      No, the acorn’s hat, where its thought grows sweet and whole.


      I am all these, and yet none:
Not the red streams flooding the banks of cells.
      nor the river hungry for the ocean
nor the crows feather that dandles to the ground
      nor the wind trafficking in perfume
nor the little pool holding a syllable of water.


Still, I am where the tongue presses the roof of the mouth,
      in the crease of the closed hand,
in the foot hesitating on the stoop,
      in the eye that draws its shape on the sky
      and lingers, waiting for the face of light.

essential (temporal) vulnerability

Matthew Rose:

Tradition is the ritual abolition of time—this, in a sentence, was Guénon’s discovery and his revelation to the West. To a culture formed by Greek philosophy and biblical religion, he argued that no lasting society could be built on the contemplation of nature or the hope for a life beyond it. Time could be resisted only through tradition—only through the unceasing repetition of acts whose archetypes were thought to be as old as humanity itself. By imitating his ancestors, Guénon argued, the man of tradition was made contemporary with them and so transcended time. He lived in timeless solidarity with the generations that had preceded and would follow him. Neither nature nor history, therefore, could defeat him—for he had nothing of his own, did nothing by himself, and stood for nothing unique. He was merely a member of a sacred series. As Guénon’s greatest interpreter, Mircea Eliade, observed, the life of a traditional man had meaning only under one condition: that he was not an individual at all. What he did had always been done. What he believed had always been believed. His life was one of holy repetition.

As Guénon saw it, the postwar West was littered with mere fragments of knowledge. Modernity had succeeded in severing each branch of knowledge and every practical skill from the “sacred sciences” that once ordered them to wisdom. Guénon lamented that social roles, now dominated by technology, transmitted no spirituality and offered no portals to contemplation. Modern life instead imposed its own empty rituals, which were nothing but a “parody” of the sacred rhythms of traditional life—exacerbating our exposure to historical change, rather than protecting us from it. Guénon concluded that the West was indeed an exceptional civilization: It was exceptionally ­abnormal in seeking “the destruction of all ­traditional institutions.”

At the time of his death in 1951, Guénon had largely given up hope that the dissolution of traditional societies could be stopped. He encouraged his followers to hold inwardly to the eternal doctrines that he, in a conspicuous break with tradition, had committed to writing.

[…]

We need not agree with Guénon in order to recognize that he was right about the dismantling of tradition in liberal societies. He understood the civilizational calamity, to say nothing of the human cruelty, of making each generation a stranger to those that precede and follow it. Who we will be, what we will believe, where we will live, how and when we will die—we are now burdened with building our lives from scratch, precisely at the moment when we most need the wisdom of tradition. Guénon was rightly horrified by the nihilism of a culture whose past is stolen through enforced forgetting. And though he was not a believer in any traditional sense, he sought the same consolation many religious people do: refuge in a realm of imperishable truth.

But in imagining a primordial tradition, existing beyond the flow of time, Guénon, paradoxically, drained human life of its meaning. Guénon ignored the personal and embodied dimensions of human experience. No individuals mattered when seen from the horizon of deep time, and no great men or women could shape our common destiny. Guénon’s vision of eternity prevented him from seeing any real human beings, whose unfolding lives form the drama of history. His “tradition,” hidden in secret symbols and encoded rituals, was disembodied from the ways in which any inheritance is transmitted. Guénon showed almost no interest in Western art, literature, or folkways, and his failure was no accident. For he could not acknowledge the animating core of our culture, with its basis in the Bible, whose message he could not bear to confront. Scripture sees time as fraught with meaning. It imagines that eternity is glimpsed in the small dramas of ordinary lives whose every moment is charged with meaning.

Guénon’s return to tradition was no return at all. It was an escape—from the finitude of creaturely life into the imagined citadel of tradition. His error was fundamental and prevented him from being the steward of any tradition that might be renewed. He did not understand that our involvement in history, including our vulnerability to it, is what allows us to seek what is truly human and what is infinitely beyond history. With his vision turned to the mystery of human prehistory, Guénon failed to appreciate the mystery before him. It is the mystery that the deepest ­human potentialities become full, rich, and perfected only through the adventure of history, where they are tested, illumined, and enhanced. Human beings must live in time, and it is only within a world of change that we can give shape to our souls. Our responsibility to do so gives our lives a perpetual restlessness and discontent. Guénon experienced as a crisis and a loss what is, in truth, a task and calling. And when we see time not as the place of our dispossession, but as our journey toward home, then a more exalted vision of human life opens before us.

narratives and numbers

Something I wrote for a 2020 global health class and in honor of Paul Farmer, who fought the good fight.


Whose Justice? Which Calculations?[1]


“When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams – this may be madness. Too much sanity may be madness – and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be!”
~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote

            Tracy Kidder’s Mountains Beyond Mountains is in many ways a book after my own heart. It’s certainly not that my life could compare to Paul Farmer’s, or even that my writing could compare to Tracy Kidder’s. As a Christian, a surgical tech, and a worker in the medical mission field, I have a serious interest in global health, which makes Paul Farmer’s life as attractive and inviting as it is inspiring. And yet, the book would probably not stand out much at all in my own mind if it did not stand so far apart from one of the first assignments in this class, the TED Talk from the famous statistician Hans Rosling.

            I have often wondered what exactly Albert Einstein meant when he said that the certainty of mathematics depends on a kind of distance from reality.[2] Of course, he wasn’t saying that mathematics has no relation to reality, but surely it’s true that, since life always retains some degree of mystery and ambiguity (as well as disorder and value), using mathematics requires a certain separation from what we normally experience. I still can’t say that I completely grasp what he meant, but I think that if I were going to apply Einstein’s meaning to the work of any one person in the world, it would be Hans Rosling. In the assigned talk, posted under the title “Reducing Child Mortality—A Moral and Environmental Imperative,”[3] Rosling laments what he claims is the false belief that places like Africa are not doing well or that the data in Africa is nonexistent or unreliable. “I’ll prove them wrong on both points!” he says. What follows this claim is a series of charts and graphs that supposedly prove something. What it is they prove I haven’t figured out, much less how they amount to any sort of “moral imperative.” Maybe it’s best to admit that I’ve never liked talking about people and numbers in the same sentence, so when Rosling says, with no small amount of excitement, that he’s got numbers to prove how wrong we are about the world, that everything is much better than we imagine and experience it to be, I can only feel a certain resistance to his enthusiasm. And it didn’t help that I had already started reading about Paul Farmer.

            Putting aside the question of whether the story that Rosling tells—and it is a story—is even factual or narratively correct,[4] it stands in remarkable distinction to the life, and the approach, we are confronted with in Mountains Beyond Mountains. In some ways, the distinction is written in plain language, as when Farmer is asked by Ophelia to define anthropology: “He told her, in effect…that anthropology concerned itself less with measurement than with meaning” (72). In fact, it would seem that in many ways measurement is antithetical to such meaning. The sort of meaning that Farmer has in mind is not the sort that can be gathered and collected to form some point or line on a chart. Continuing to summarize Farmer’s answer about anthropology, Kidder says, “As in mastering a language, one had to learn not just the literal meanings of words but also their connotations, and to grasp those one had to know the politics and economic systems and histories of a place. Only then could you really understand an event like the mango lady’s death” (72).

            The mango lady is a woman who, because of inexcusably terrible roads, fell off a truck and died on her way to a market in Haiti. For Farmer (and for Ophelia), she is an unforgettable representation of the myriad needless deaths that take place every day. And for me, she represents at least two clear points of departure from Rosling. First is simply that it was unnecessary—and it matters that it was unnecessary. As Thomas Pogge has pointed out, the problem with data sets, like those Rosling champions, is that they do not tell a moral story at all. “The morally relevant comparison of existing poverty… is not with historical benchmarks but with present possibilities: How much of this poverty is really unavoidable today? By this standard, our generation is doing worse than any in human history.”[5] Like Pogge, Farmer is not ultimately concerned with historical benchmarks but with present ones; he simply thinks we should be doing more, much more, to help the poor. Rather than seeing how historically low the numbers might be, he sees how unnecessarily high they certainly are.

            Second—although, in a sense, preceding the first—her death cannot be understood from far away. Farmer’s approach, both through his use of anthropology and through the entire life Kidder portrays, is necessarily a present and personal one. In a word, it is incarnational—only once you’ve embedded yourself into a place like Haiti could you possibly understand what even one death means, much less place some sort of value on it. William James once remarked, in an essay otherworldly to Rosling, that a man “would needs be a presumptuous calculator who should with confidence say that the total sum of significances is positively and absolutely greater at any one epoch than at any other of the world.”[6] Ask a Syrian refugee on the southern border of Turkey, or a Yazidi woman in Iraq, or a Rohingya father in Bangladesh, or a starving child in Yemen—ask them if the world is a much better place than ever before. Whose world? According to whom?[7]

I could not pretend to speak for Rosling, or Farmer, or Kidder, but the experience of reading about Paul Farmer and the experience of listening to Hans Rosling are, it seems to me, as night is to day. On one level, both men believe something very similar: both believe that most of us in the west have a certain view of the world, particularly of poorer countries, and they want to correct that view and promote a corresponding reaction. On a deeper level, the views we are asked to adopt could not be further apart, both in what they view and from where they view it. One invites us to soar above the mountains and see how nice things have become; the other stands where there are mountains beyond mountains and invites us to see the world and history “as if written in collaboration with a Haitian peasant” (116). One rises above the world and organizes numbers to make things look a certain way;[8] the other gets down on his hands and knees to listen to the world and to see what and who we are overlooking. One requires that you be wealthy and well-off and detached enough to do the math; the other requires that you be low and humble and involved enough to hear the poor.

            Peppered throughout Kidder’s book, and Farmer’s life, is a quality not only of depth and perspective but also of inspiration. In a world where we are more capable than ever of helping the poor, how do you inspire people to a life of care, service, and sacrifice? This is not only a question repeatedly asked by Farmer, but a question that a view of his life provides the answer to: it’s the life that inspires belief and belief that inspires action. A biography of someone like Paul Farmer’s is not neutral nor does it sit as a collection of data waiting for some application. “Not as a figure to watch from a distance, thinking, Oh, look, there is good in the world. Not as a comforting example, but the opposite” (102). The reason for that discomfort was mentioned earlier in the book: “because it implied such an extreme definition of a term like ‘doing one’s best’” (8).

            That challenge is as present today as at any time in any past.[9] And in that sense, Farmer’s life can intimidate as well as inspire. But here again Farmer stands out as an example. He did not begin by trying to change the world, but by applying himself to something relatively small.[10] Whether in Haiti or in downtown Augusta, each of us can be inspired to do the same. Rather than trying to quantify suffering, or progress, or our own moment of greatness, maybe we should listen again to William James, in a quote that Dorothy Day often handed out on little cards:

“I am done with great things and big plans, great institutions and big success. And I am for those tiny, invisible, loving, human forces that work from individual to individual, creeping through the crannies of the world like so many rootlets, or like the capillary oozing of water, yet which, if given time, will rend the hardest monuments of human pride.”[11]

            Farmer seems to me to be an invitation to that sort of life, and also proof that that sort of life does not mean a life will have only a minimal impact. In the real world there are not always neat figures and progressing lines; instead there are mountain beyond mountains, and we only remain undefeated because we have gone on trying,[12] listening to and caring for those in need, even in some small but genuine way.


[1] The title is a reference to Alasdair MacIntyre’s Whose Justice? Which Rationality?

[2] “As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.” Taken from a speech titled “Geometry and Experience,” given at the Prussian Academy of Sciences in Berlin, January 27th, 1921. A transcript can be found here: http://mathshistory.st-andrews.ac.uk/Extras/Einstein_geometry.html

[3] https://www.gapminder.org/videos/reducing-child-mortality-a-moral-and-environmental-imperative/

[4] https://quillette.com/2018/11/16/the-one-sided-worldview-of-hans-rosling/

[5] http://www.themarknews.com/2016/02/07/the-end-of-poverty/

[6] William James, “What Makes Life Significant.” Essay published in 1900. Rosling is, I think, exactly the presumptuous calculator James had in mind.

[7] The UNHCR is apparently not required to share Rosling’s optimism: https://www.unhcr.org/en-us/figures-at-a-glance.html

[8] Jerry Fodor: “It belongs to the millennial moment to want to sum things up and see where were have gotten and point in the direction that further progress lies.”

[9] Charles Taylor, A Secular Age: “Our age makes higher demands of solidarity and benevolence on people today than ever before. Never before have so many people been asked to stretch out so far, and so consistently, so systematically, so as a matter of course, to the stranger outside the gates.” Pg. 695.

[10] Kidder discusses this in the afterword in Mountains Beyond Mountains.

[11] This quote is taken from a fantastic little lecture given in 2016 by the American Catholic theologian William T. Cavanaugh at Biola University Center for Christian Thought: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0qti9EyZzw

[12] T.S. Eliot, from the epigraph to Kidder’s book.

Light Perpetual

I had to make two attempts, one several months ago, but I read Francis Spufford’s Light Perpetual this week. I can’t say why, but the fist time around I just couldn’t grab on to any of the characters. Even the second time took a little effort and a hundred or so pages. And that lag getting into the book came as a surprise, since the opening chapter is such a completely gripping start.

I don’t think it would be a spoiler to say that every character dies in the first chapter (it says as much on the inside jacket) when a German V-2 rocket explodes at a Woolworth’s in London in 1944. What follows and what makes up the rest of the book is a series of snapshots from the lives that would have gone on had a bomb not gone off when and where it did.

Shoppers, saucepans, ballistic missiles: what’s wrong with this picture? No one is going to tell us. Jo and Alec, as it happens are looking in the right direction. Their gaze is fixed on the gap between the shoulders of Mrs. Jones and Mrs. Canaghan where the rocket is gliding into view. But they can’t see it. Nobody can. The image of the V-2 is on their retinas, but it takes far longer than a ten-thousandth of a second for the human eye to process an image and send it to a brain. Much sooner than that, the children won’t have eyes any more. Or brains. This instant—this interval of time, measurably tiny, immeasurably vast—arrives unwitnessed, passes unwitnessed, ends unwitnessed. And yet it is a real moment. It really happens. It really takes its necessary place in the sequence of moments by which 910 kilos of amatol are delivered among the saucepans.

In one sense, the opening chapter is meaningless to the story and the characters whose lives play out on the pages that follow, since at no point do we revisit what really happened. In another sense, however, much like with the whole of any story, or poem, when you close this book at the end, you can’t help thinking simultaneously about the beginning, about how the stories of these characters have never actually taken place, the lives of each as a child violently cut short. This makes what is otherwise a fairly simple novel into something much more moving—and haunting.

I’m reminded a little of how I felt—or in the inverse of how I felt—at the end of Adam Makos’s A Higher Call. Makos tells the true story that revolves around two pilots, one American B-17 pilot named Charlie Brown, and one German Bf-109 pilot named Franz Stigler. Because Stigler chose not to shoot down a nearly crippled B-17 after a bombing of Bremen, Brown and his crew live to see the future and the families they would never have known because that future and their families would not have existed.

Makos describes the scene at a filmed meeting between Charlie Brown and his crew and Franz Stigler in Massachusetts in 1990:

From above it must have looked funny, the circle of people crowding around one small man in the center, hugging him and one another amid the sounds of tears and laughter. But everyone that day owed something to Franz Stigler, the man in the middle. Because of him, twenty-five men, women, and children—the descendants of Charlie, Blackie, and Pechout—had the chance to live, not to mention the children and grandchildren of Charlie’s other crewmen. . . .

From above, the circle of people blended as they hugged near the [B-17] bomber’s wing, becoming just one mass, bigger and greater as the gaps between them vanished.

That, of course, was a true story all the way through, while Spufford’s story is only based on a true event. (There really was a Woolworth’s in London destroyed by a V-2 rocket in 1944.) But the effect of each story is nearly the same. Somehow, deep down, the thankfulness of the one story is nearly interchangeable with the lament of the other. The fact is, I can imagine, for individuals and for the world, a moment like this—a circle viewed from above as people hug and blend, give thanks and reconcile—for all the lives that went wrong as much as for the ones that went right.

One of the things I like most about Light Perpetual is how Spufford so humanizes each character. This is not a sob story about simply wonderful lives that never got their chance. Though it might be a little overdone at times, each of his characters has as much trouble and tragedy as anything, but each still has some chance for meaning, joy, redemption. Each life is set on some trajectory in a way that we all know as both intimately chosen and yet vastly uncontrollable.

As one character, Jo, is observing a group of young students later in the book, she wonders about the glories and the harms that await them:

But you can’t warn them, any more than you can tell them in terms that would make sense to them that their transformation is glorious. Youth isn’t visible to them, any more than air is. It’s the condition of their lives, but it isn’t a thing that they could imagine not having, and therefore could imagine as being desirable in itself.

In The Sense of an Ending, Julian Barnes puts this eclipsed, front-loaded sense of childhood quite powerfully:

In those days, we imagined ourselves as being kept in some kind of holding pen, waiting to be released into our lives. And when that moment came, our lives—and time itself—would speed up. How were we to know that our lives had in any case begun, that some advantage had already been gained, some damage already inflicted? Also, that our release would only be into a larger holding pen, whose boundaries would be at first undiscernible.

And yet, out of such unknowable, uncontrollable, chaotic sludge come all the tainted goodness and glory and light worthy of the name “life.”

Jo again, reflecting on that same group of students as they sing together:

Can they hear it, this immense organised sound they are making together? Can they hear the organ that they have briefly become, whose separate pipes are all those sticky pink organic tubes in teenage bodies? Imperfect pipes, made of damp twisted cartilage without a single straight line, pumped up by weird fluttering bladders, and yet capable of sounding a chord that seems to lay hold on some order in the world that already existed before we came along and started to sing. Making an order that matches an order. Music is strange, she wants them to see, and one of the things that is strangest about it is that it comes from our messy bodies. Sing, Hayley. Sing, Tyrone. Sing, Jamila, Simon, Samantha, Jerome. Don’t stop till you must. Notice if you can that your temporary orchestra of hormones and still-digesting Big Macs from lunchtime can be coaxed into playing the music of the spheres. If you let yourself be the instrument.

Then the bell goes, and they clatter away laughing.

I think what I would like to see is a book like this, with almost the exact same introductory chapter, but written for characters in the Middle East—say, a family in Afghanistan, killed by a U.S. drone strike. Zamir, Faisal, Farzad, Arwin, Benyamin, Hayat, Malika, Sumaia—what lives might they have lived, “those particles, flecks, shreds, lumps and pieces that, previously, were parts of people; people being missed, waited for, despaired of . . .”? Isn’t this worth wondering, too?

But what has gone is not just the children’s present existence . . . It’s all the futures they won’t get, too. All the would-be’s, might-be’s, could-be’s of the decades to come. How can that loss be measured, how can that loss be known, except by laying this absence, now and onwards, against some other version of the reel of time, where might-be and could-be and would-be still may be?

Which is to say, how can that loss be measured except by the standard of its own existence in time? How can the loss of life be known except by remembering it and lamenting its loss? In the words of Barbara Kingsolver, when she visited Ground Zero in Hiroshima:

I was moved beyond words, even beyond tears, to think of all that can be lost or gained in the gulf between any act of will and its consequences. In the course of every failure of understanding, we have so much to learn.

There is more than enough in any given day’s newsreel, public or private, to provoke this kind of lament, to plead a deep humility, and to warrant a corresponding hope.

It seems right to end where Spufford begins:

Come, other future. Come, mercy not manifest in time; come knowledge not obtainable in time. Come, other chances. Come, unsounded deep. Come, undivided light.

Come dust.

dim, flickering candles

David Brooks:

Then there is the way partisan politics has swamped what is supposed to be a religious movement. Over the past couple of decades evangelical pastors have found that their 20-minute Sunday sermons could not outshine the hours and hours of Fox News their parishioners were mainlining every week. It wasn’t only that the klieg light of Fox was so bright, but also that the flickering candle of Christian formation was so dim.

Supposed to be a religious movement. Good thing for those accused, “it’s a relationship not a religion,” and, ipso facto, they cannot be guilty as charged.

But seriously, this is a thoroughly insightful article, both encouraging and discouraging to read. However, I’m going to be nit-picky just to make a few points, if only for my own sake and my sake’s clarity.

In 2020, roughly 40 percent of the people who called themselves evangelical attended church once a year or less, according to research by the political scientist Ryan Burge. It’s just a political label for them. This politicization is one reason people have cited to explain why so many are leaving the faith.

I have no idea what point Brooks thinks he’s making here. Politicization at large is a problem, yes. But people are not leaving the “evangelical” church because of the term’s political label for those who don’t attend. Much “ink” is utilized acknowledging the non-churchgoing who identify as evangelical. I 99% do not give a shit about this statistic—or, 99% of the time it’s talked about, at least. One thing I have not seen get much attention (though perhaps I’m not reading widely enough) is the way that churchgoing, praise-Jesus, never-late-for-Sunday-worship white evangelicals are exactly the same as the non churchgoing evangelicals. I don’t think this is what Brooks is doing here—in fact, I think his point throughout the article is the right one—but this particular statistic, while valuable from certain historical and political points of view, makes it seem as though “evangelicals” who don’t go to church are spoiling the name. They are not. And every single time this statistic is brought up in the context of evangelical deconstruction, or whatever, it is a complete distraction from the point. I know it seems relevant, but I have yet to figure out how, at least for anything but election polls or historical uses of the term. People leaving church, if they are anything like me, do not care about either of those. They care, among many other things, to be sure, that the very same people who taught them the faith—who still presume to teach them the faith—told them Bill Clinton was unfit for office and that they were foolish (if not demonically oppressed) for denouncing Donald Trump. The faith that produces that kind of disparity is doomed, or ought to be. Period.

Here’s another somewhat confusing use of statistics:

Roughly 80 percent of white evangelical voters supported Trump in 2020. But it is often a minority of this group who spark bitter conflicts and want their church to be on war footing all the time.

Again, I’m not sure what Brooks is saying with this, since he doesn’t seem to do anything with his own point here. (I love reading him, but much of Brooks’s writing has a certain “stream of thought,” but very readable, flow, making his paragraphs read like excerpts from another piece.) I know these people exist, but I can think of only one person I know who actively advocates for an ecclesial war footing. And again, I don’t think I’m disagreeing with anything Brooks is ultimately saying, but it seems to me that the extremes he calls a “minority,” and whatever disproportionate clout they carry, are not the problem in the hearts of those who are leaving. People can say what they want about a two-party system, but there is a dizzyingly pervasive binary aspect to politics that insists on its own importance. The “church,” by definition, exists outside of this binary—or is supposed to. In other words, there is a political spectrum within the white evangelical church which it is wrong to be anywhere on. The problem is not from a battle-ready group that sparks bitter conflict. It’s that so many have shown a near complete inability to “speak out clearly and to pay up personally.” And at this point, that characteristic inability has attached itself to so many different personality types that it has nearly become the definition of evangelicalism itself.

I would also add—and I could be way off here—that this seems like a time for quiet, steady-state hupomoné, not church planting. I’m a little surprised that that even made Tim Keller’s list for renewal. Again, I could be way off. But a focus on x,000 new church plants per year strikes me as business as usual for the activism of American evangelicalism. Better for now to abide, endure. As Karl Jaspers put it:

The truly real takes place almost unnoticed, and is, to begin with, lonely and dispersed. . . . Those among our young people who, thirty years hence, will do the things that matter are, in all probability, now quietly biding their time; and yet, unseen by others, they are already establishing their existences by means of an unrestricted spiritual discipline.

Personally, I don’t see as much cause for hope as Brooks manages to find, though I hope he is right. And I certainly hope that “in the decades ahead the American church is going to look more like the global church.” In the meantime, I do see a fair amount of quietly-brewing faith under the surface of things. That’s what I’m keeping my eyes and ears open for, anyway. (And nose. The sense of smell is a completely underrated spiritual sense these days.)

a penitent thief

Leah Libresco Sargeant:

It is easy to think of our charity or tithing budget as being allocated out of our surplus, but we give ourselves a generous accounting of the essentials that must be satisfied before we can give to others. When St. Basil speaks of giving to the poor, he speaks not of prudent savings but of waste:

“The bread in your cupboard belongs to the hungry; the coat hanging unused in your closet belongs to the one who needs it; the shoes rotting in your closet belong to the one who has no shoes; the money which you hoard up belongs to the poor. You do wrong to everyone you could help, but fail to help.

What St. Basil describes is not charity but justice. The unused shoes are not mine to give—they belong to the one who needs them. When I carry them out of my house and place them in another’s hands, I am not a magnanimous figure, bestowing gifts, but a penitent thief, asking forgiveness. […]

Augustine saw a neediness on the part of the giver that balanced the vulnerability of the receiver. As glossed by Peter Brown in Through the Eye of a Needle, Augustine linked the duty to give alms to the daily petitions of the Lord’s Prayer:

“‘Daily’”—cottidiana—was the ever-recurrent word Augustine used, whether he spoke of sin, of prayer, or of almsgiving. The human condition demanded this. The soul was a leaking vessel on the high seas. Little trickles of daily sins constantly seeped through the timbers, silently filling the bilge with water that might yet sink the ship if it were not pumped out. And to man the bilge-pump was both to pray and to give alms:

Those who work the bilge-pump lest the boat go down do so [chanting sea shanties] with their voices and working with their hands. . . . Let the hands go round and round. . . . Let them give, let them do good works.’”

In her own reflection on this passage, Catholic author Eve Tushnet writes that being asked to give feels like a mercy to her when she is burdened by sin. “I have many grateful, difficult memories of being in the middle of some bout with one of my various sordid sins and being asked for money or seeing someone in need whom I could help,” she writes in her newsletter The Rogation Dragon. “It feels like being allowed, like being given the undeserved chance to serve someone.”

a pelican in the wilderness

Isabel Colegate:

I have been to Farne Island, off the coast of Northumberland, in very heavy rain. Leaning over the cliff behind St Cuthbert’s chapel the smell of fish was overpowering; there must have been at least fifty cormorants perched up and down the cliff below. The island’s desolation is beautiful, even in the rain, even with the cormorants.

It rained on Iona too, but not on the evening we arrived. We landed in perfect weather, the sea silkily blue and quiet, the sky clear and the air as sweet and soft as we remembered it. It was in the morning that it rained. We set off all the same to find the hermit’s cell, marked as such on the map. The kind young man in the shop had suggested that we should go round the hill, because it was less likely that we would get lost. The hill was steep and boggy, he said, and there was no path. If we went round we could walk on the flat ground beside the sea before turning up into the rocks. We might get lost there too, but it was easier walking.

Following his directions we came to the white shell beaches of the Bay at the Back of the Ocean, where there were oyster-catchers, a single sandpiper, and a few eider ducks sitting motionless on the glassy sea. Past the first rocky outcrop we turned inland and crossed the uneven sheep-grazed turf towards the higher ridges. The rain had turned into a gentle drizzle. The rocks receded before us, repetitive shapes of grey in the still grey air whose soft touch was damp on our faces. Here a tiny stream, there a patch of swamp, with bog cotton growing in it and sea pinks at the edge. We climbed, the sea behind us. A solitary walker said, yes, she had been to the hermit’s cell once, it was over there somewhere, beyond the next ridge, or the one after that, a little to the left perhaps, and higher up. We began to flag, separated to widen the search, lost each other, added our faint cries to the crying sheep, despaired.

I sat on a tussock and two minuscule rock pipit chicks floundered helplessly in a ditch at my feet. Removing myself hurriedly to a nearby rock, I watched the parent bird, beak full of food, hopping and chirping a foot or so above them, failing to find them. The other parent bird chirped in agitation from the rocks. Time passed. The chicks presumably drowned. Should I have lifted them out on to a rock where the parent could see them or would I only have made matters worse? Wasteful nature cared not at all, and I was lost, and this was the desert.

If it was St Columba, or one of the twelve monks who came with him from Ireland to lona in 565, who had made the cell among these grey rocks, on this yellowish turf sprinkled with tiny flowers, among the rock pipits and the white-rumped wheatears, it would have answered his need for self-abnegation as perfectly as the sands of the Sahara did for St Antony or the northern forest of Temnikov for St Seraphim of Sarov. It was nowhere, bathed in the pure light of nothing. Each rock differed only subtly from each other rock, each swampy patch could have been the one I had walked through ten minutes before. There were crows, but faraway on a higher ridge; they did not have the look of crows that bring bread to hermits. The sea was out of sight, guarded by rocky distance, the pearly clouds concealed the sun. One might dissolve into the soft atmosphere; the seasons would change, cyclical rather than progressive; only one’s bones, showing through the flesh, would mark the physical journey towards the stark skeleton whitening among the stones.

We struggled on, of course, and in the end we stumbled upon a small circle of stones and convinced ourselves that this was the place. Then we limped back and were revived by soup and walked quite easily along to the abbey to be amazed by sound. Sir John Eliot Gardiner, the Monteverdi Choir and the English Baroque Soloists were on their Bach Cantata Millennium Pilgrimage and had come to lona for the day of Bach’s death. To be more accurate it was the day before his death; they were giving the concert that afternoon as well as on the following morning because so few people could be fitted into the abbey. The logistics defied the imagination. All their instruments and equipment had had to be transported from the mainland to the island of Mull and from Mull across the sea to lona. Three days earlier they had been in Mühlhausen, two days later they were to be in Anspach. Tickets for the concert were free, because Iona is a holy island.

The cantatas they sang for Bach’s death day were among his most sublime, being on the themes of death, fear, faith and holy joy. The last chorale was sung outside the abbey, in front of the west door. Afterwards, in the low evening sunlight, incongruous on this remote northern island, a tall man in a frock coat stood smiling and bowing, a neat group of superlative musicians looking slightly shy behind him. Together with the audience scattered around the grassy mount in the churchyard we acclaimed them, thinking of St Columba, thinking of Johann Sebastian Bach, thinking of our mysterious species’ extraordinary need for something to praise, something to glorify.

St Columba, or St Columcille as he is known in Ireland, set off with twelve monks for Iona in 565. It seems he had no idea of being a missionary. There had been some kind of quarrel, possibly over a question of copyright. It seems the saint may have copied a particularly beautiful psalter without the permission of the bishop to whom it belonged. The local king forced him to return the copy to the owner of the original, but later St Columba, himself the son of a princely family, defeated the king in battle and won back the psalter. But as a monk who had taken up arms, he had to be exiled, in penance.

He had already founded monasteries in Ireland and he continued his work among the Irish who had settled in western Scotland, his reputation for peace-making and holiness spreading wherever he went. It is said that when at last he was weakened by age, St Columba was resting on a rock when the old white horse which brought the milk every morning to the monks of Iona came and laid his head upon his breast. The horse wept and foamed copiously, but the saint would not allow the monks to lead him away until he had given the affectionate beast his blessing; and the next day St Columba died.

essential vulnerability

Juliette Kayyem:

The historical significance of asking Jews to carry badges had been lost on me; so was the idea that access is both a vulnerability and essential to the institution.

At airports, stadiums, even schools, safety and security procedures are put in place to protect the essence of the institution itself: travel, recreation, education. We may not like the fortress aesthetic, but we’ve come to accept it.

But what if the essence of a place is that it is defenseless? What if its ability to welcome others, to be hospitable to strangers, is its identity? What if vulnerability is its unstated mission? That is the challenge I hadn’t considered. … To make a soft target harder would more likely change the target than deter the attacker.

In security, we view vulnerabilities as inherently bad. We solve the problem with layered defenses: more locks, more surveillance. Deprive strangers of access to your temple, I urged the committee members, and have congregants carry ID. They would have none of it. Access was a vulnerability embedded in the institution, and no security expert could change that—we do logistics, not souls.

The standoff in Colleyville ended with the attacker dead and the hostages unharmed. But all around the country, synagogues are no doubt convening their security committees, wondering what more they can do to defend their members without losing their essential vulnerability. A synagogue is not like an airport or a stadium. When it becomes a fortress, something immeasurable is lost.

our life and death are with our neighbor

Rowan Williams:

We have to forget our self-protective habits in order to discover our shared challenges. But what science alone does not do is build the motivation for a deeper level of connection. We act effectively not just when we find a language in common to identify problems, but when we recognise that those who share these challenges are profoundly like us, to the extent that we can to some degree feel their frailty as if it were ours – or at least, feel their frailty impacting directly on our own, so that we cannot be secure while they remain at risk.

“immense confusing holiness”

Brian Doyle:

As a fan’s notes for grace, a quavery chant against the dark, I sing a song of things that make us grin and bow, that just for an instant let us see sometimes the web and weave of merciful, the endless possible, the incomprehensible inexhaustible inexplicable yes, . . .

Look, I know very well that brooding misshapen evil is everywhere, in the brightest houses and the most cheerful denials, in what we do and what we have failed to do, and I know all too well that the story of the world is entropy, things fly apart, we sicken, we fail, we grow weary, we divorce, we are hammered and hounded by loss and accidents and tragedies. But I also know, with all my hoary muddled heart, that we are carved of immense confusing holiness; that the whole point for us is grace under duress; and that you either take a flying leap at nonsensical illogical unreasonable ideas like marriage and marathons and democracy and divinity, or you huddle behind the wall. I believe that the coolest things there are cannot be measured, calibrated, calculated, gauged, weighed, or understood except sometimes by having a child patiently explain it to you, which is another thing that should happen far more often to us all. In short I believe in believing, which doesn’t make sense, which gives me hope.