I realized that I had read about the Christian life for decades and I knew more about it than I was being. I made a conscious decision to stop reading about how to be a better Christian and start just BEING one according to the knowledge I had.
I guess I could say I grew weary. Weary of the agitation. Weary of the contentiousness. Weary of the insults. Weary of the hostility. Weary of the joylessness. Weary of the crusades. Weary of the havoc. All in the name of and service to “truth”.