There is always an intrinsic danger to telling one’s story. We are all fallible narrators. Even the purest intentions cannot cure a mistaken memory or a misunderstood moment. These things do not make our self-histories worthless; they simply make them human.
Yet telling our stories of theological, political, or intellectual transformation carries a distinct risk: that our gratitude for where we are now lures us into ignoring or distorting the grace that met us at a much different place. This isn’t just a factual problem. It’s a spiritual one as well.
Many of us raised in evangelical subcultures must admit that we are very different people today than we were while living with our parents, attending this Sunday school class, or sitting under that youth pastor. Many of us will look back at the things we were taught and see problems—some minor, others serious.
Yet this transformation shouldn’t leave us with contempt for the people and places of our past. When we’re honest with ourselves, we should acknowledge that even the ways we change are deeply rooted in the things that were poured into us when we were too young to refuse them. […]
… Indeed, this is the peril of all our testimonies[:] We see even our own lives only as through a mirror dimly.
I have not read Jon Ward’s new book, Testimony: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Failed a Generation, which James is reviewing. And I’m not sure I will or need to read it. The title resonates, but my experience so far with these kinds of narratives has remained a bit standoffish. When it comes to evangelicals and deconstruction and all that, there are levels both of offensiveness and defensiveness that I have not been able to get on board with.
In Ward’s defense, there’s plenty, plenty more that should be fleshed out regarding generations of evangelical failure. I also take Ward at his word (in this interview) when he says he acribes no malice to the evangelicals his book is directed at. And James’s defensiveness (and anger?) toward the book is much more evident in this follow-up post to the CT article. However, the above excerpt/warning from James is spot-on.
(Also, just to get this off my chest, this interview with Jon Ward on MSNBC’s Morning Joe is unwatchable. I could not finish it. It’s like Ward was brought on to the show to watch Joe Scarborough interview himself on his own high-flying opinion of the topic of Ward’s book. After all the Morning Joe SNL skits, you would think they would have caught on at least a little.)